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We have seen Superman go berserk before, but this really takes the cake. In Action Comics 584, part of DC Comics’ post-Crisis era, the Man of Steel decides to let his frustration out upon the world. This 1987 comic book shows Superman, usually Metropolis’ greatest superhero, punching into random buildings, tearing off Cyborg’s arm, and.. umm…. threatening to have his way with Wonder Girl (also known as Donna Troy). This makes quite an interesting scenario, the idea of a grown adult like Superman wanting to perform certain acts on a teenage girl. However, it turns out that Superman was not in his right mind, a far cry from his Silver Age boy scout image.
The story of Action Comics 584, published in January 1987, is that Superman’s mind was swapped with some crippled dude named Gunderson using a mind transfer device. This guy was so smart that he managed to create incredibly complicated machinery, which not even NASA’s top scientists could ever hope to invent, acquired all the parts, then welded it all together himself. Never mind that he is so fragile that he can barely even stand, or that Superman’s regular breathing could crush his body to fit into a Styroform coffee cup. Yet somehow this “Mr Glass” (that’s a reference to movie Unbreakable, friends) is able to be the most powerful man on Earth, far from the last son of Krypton we know.
I have to say that, beyond the lazy mind-swapping-machine concept, the story is actually pretty realistic. Lord knows that if I had Clark Kent’s powers, I would break the first thing I’d see and then tear off a super-hero’s arm. When Superman threatens to have his way with Wonder Girl after beating her, it solidified how evil people could be on the inside, even if they seem like a harmless cripple. If you had the powers of Superman, how could you resist the temptation of doing anything you want? Who is going to stop you from robbing a bank, or worse? Not even Kryptonite could hold you back in this scenario.
Back to the Lab: Undoing the Body Swap
So, what do you do when you’ve got a power-mad scientist in Superman’s body and the real Superman stuck in a body that struggles to reach the top shelf? You head back to the lab, of course! It’s time for some superhero science to save the day.
The Titans, being the good sports they are, decide to escort both Superman and Gundersen back to the scene of the crime. Once they get to the lab, it’s time to fire up whatever gizmo caused this mess in the first place. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d be a little nervous about using a machine that can swap bodies willy-nilly. What if something goes wrong and you end up in the body of a potted plant? But I guess when you’re dealing with a rampaging fake Superman, you’ve got to take some risks.
Superman’s Lecture: A Lesson in Responsibility
Alright, folks, brace yourselves because it’s time for the patented Superman Lecture™. Once everyone’s back in their rightful bodies, the Man of Steel decides it’s the perfect time for a good old-fashioned telling-off. And let me tell you, he does not hold back!
Picture this: Superman, standing there in all his red-and-blue glory, wagging his finger like a disappointed parent. He’s got that stern look on his face, the one that makes you feel like you’ve let down not just him, but truth, justice, and the American way all at once.
Poor Gundersen probably wishes he could swap bodies again – maybe with an ant, so he could scurry away and hide from Superman’s disapproving gaze. But nope, he’s stuck there, getting the full brunt of the Super Lecture.
And the Titans? They’re probably standing off to the side, shuffling their feet and trying not to make eye contact. It’s like when your friend is getting yelled at by their parents and you’re just awkwardly waiting for it to be over so you can go play video games.
Lex Luthor’s Suspicions: A Subplot Emerges
Now, what’s a good Superman story without a dash of Lex Luthor? As our tale wraps up, we get a little peek into the bald brain of Superman’s arch-nemesis. And let me tell you, those gears are turning faster than a speeding bullet!
Lex, being the smarty-pants he is, gets wind that Superman’s been cleared of all the chaos from earlier. But instead of just shrugging it off, his suspicion-o-meter goes off the charts. He starts thinking there might be a connection between Superman and Clark Kent.
It’s like watching a kid slowly put together a jigsaw puzzle, except this kid is a evil genius and the puzzle is Superman’s secret identity. You can almost see the lightbulb flickering above Lex’s shiny dome as he ponders the possibilities.
The Legacy of Action Comics 584
Apparently I am not the only one that finds the idea of gaining Superman’s powers appealing. Action Comics 584 is a classic (Affiliate Link) that is often seen in people’s collections of comic books, despite having little monetary value. This issue, featuring art by Jerry Ordway and story by John Byrne and Marv Wolfman, has become one of the more intriguing collectible issues from the post-Crisis Superman era. It’s a far cry from the usual Teen Titans or New Teen Titans team-up books, offering a darker take on the Man of Steel. What would you do with Superman’s powers? I would give up my Klondike bar, fly from Metropolis to the Daily Planet, and maybe even take on Lex Luthor himself.
This issue really cemented the idea of Action Comics as a team-up book. Sure, it’s still Superman’s show, but it opened the door for more guest stars and crossovers. It’s like Superman decided to start a superhero social club right in the pages of his own comic!
The body-swap plot? That’s become a classic trope in superhero stories. Spider-man and Wolverine did it. You can see echoes of it in later stories across both DC and Marvel. It’s like this issue said, “Hey, what if superheroes had to deal with Freaky Friday situations?” and everyone else went, “Brilliant!”
So next time you’re reading a modern comic and you see a body-swap story or a hero team-up, give a little nod to Action Comics 584. It might just be the granddaddy of what you’re reading.