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Superman loves a good cake, that is for sure. Unfortunately, his love interest could not bake to save her life. The proof takes place in the comic Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane, issue 39. You see, Superman’s father, Jor-El, was won over when his girlfriend Lara baked him a cake. In the comic Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane 39, Lois gets a helmet from Supergirl that reveals this. The device shows how Superman’s parents became engaged, and she intended to due the same thing. After taking a bite of what surely was laced with ecstasy, Jor-El proposes over cake. I have to say, that would have had to have been the best damn cake ever made.
Let me break it down for you. Superman’s dad says, “Lara darling, a bachelor’s life can be very lonely! What I need is a pretty wife who can cook and bake like you! Say you’ll marry me!” Lara responds, “Jor-El, my dearest! How I’ve been waiting to hear those words!”
No, that is not sarcasm, but the actual dialog. Lois being an idiot like Superman’s parents, she bakes Superman a cake which he turns out hating. He then tells her to get cooking lessons because the only way she’ll win his heart is through his stomach. Lois Lane issue 39 also reveals a little known weakness of Superman: raw onions. After arranging a kissing booth for Superman, she screws it up by serving onions on hamburgers that offend Superman’s super sense of smell.
Lois Lane clearly needs to take a hint and enroll in culinary school. It’s a good thing Superman is invincible, because he’d be dead from food poisoning by now. The only thing more dangerous to Superman than kryptonite would be Lois Lane’s casseroles. With Lois’s cooking skills being on par with a 5-year-old, she might as well have made Kryptonite laced cupcakes. It’s a good thing Superman has a forgiving heart, or else Lois might have to find a new superhero to obsess over. Maybe she should stick to her day job of being a reporter and leave the cooking to someone else, like Martha Kent.
Now, let’s be honest, I think we can all agree that Superman has a lot on his plate already. Fighting crime, saving the city, and let’s not forget having to deal with Lois Lane’s terrible cooking. It’s a wonder the guy has any time to sleep! But hey, at least he can rest easy knowing that he inherited his father’s taste for a good cake.
Read this comic for sure. Surely among the more cliche of these older stories, it is hilarious. Leave a comment.