During the 80s and 90s, General Foods decided that the best way to get kids to drink gallons of sugar water would be to create brand recognition with what they would call the Kool-Aid Man. Apparently it worked because I drank so much Kool-Aid that I nearly gave myself diabetes. They had Kool-Aid Man cups, pitches, t-shirts, a video game, you name it. One of the products apparently targeted toward children was a creepy Kool-Aid Man comic book.
Now let me first tell you who the Kool-Aid Man is. He is a walking, talking glass pitcher of red Kool-Aid. Not only that, but this living pitcher of Kool-Aid is holding another pitcher of Kool-Aid. Considering that Kool-Aid is liquid candy, and the Kool-Aid man uses it to lure children, I am pretty sure that the Kool-Aid man is a child molester.
I have this comic called The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man. I think the origin of the comic is that it was a mail-in offer, because there isn’t even a bar code on it. I have also seen it advertised on the back of other comics. In the comic, Kool-Aid man fights an enemy which are called The Thirsties. If you are wondering what they look like, the Thirsties look like someone spit on the page. They are just a yellow splatter-like shape. Actually I think they are supposed to be a sun blast or something. Because the sun makes you hot and thirsty, I guess?
The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man comic book has virtually no plot at all. It consists of the Kool-Aid man breaking through anything solid and defeating the Thirsties repeatedly. This is one creepy comic. Kool-Aid man’s fascination with children would make me run like hell if I ever saw a smiling pitcher of flavored sugar-water. But the kids like him. A girl even kisses him.
What’s ironic is that these comics are so stupid that they are becoming an increasingly rare collectable. The value is not much but has seemed to rise over the years. The Kool-Aid man had made a large cultural splash through its grand marketing. If you come across this comic, it would be wiser to add it to your collection sooner than later.
What do you think of the Kool-Aid man? Cool? Creepy?